Baby Belly Blues

Tonight, Paul came up behind me and hugged me. Then, he put his hands on my tummy (as he did when I was pregnant) and said, "I'm gonna miss the baby belly." My voice cracked as I said, "Me, too." He said that if he could, he would have a dozen babies with me. That's how I feel! I'm not sure why God puts a desire in our hearts to mother or father many kids when it isn't financially feasible. Maybe things will change in the future so that I wouldn't feel guilt about having more kids than my two little ones, but I can't see that happening. Then again, a year ago, hubby was unemployed and we were living with my in-laws... now we're in an apartment again, doing fine and paying our bills - but we're just right there. It wouldn't be fair to have more kids. God help me to heal this part of my heart and accept having only my two beautiful and perfect little ones. Help me to be the best mommy I can be to these children. Amen.