I wrote this after Anna was born:
Anna Daisy P______
November 19, 2006
7 lbs 11 oz
19 inches long
(Sorry if this seems short, I'm exhausted.) I went in to be induced on Sunday morning 5am. The doctor checked me and I was already 3cm dilated and 80% efffaced, so they broke my water to see if that alone would stimulate contractions, but it didn't. They gave me pitocin at like 8 am-ish. It really wasn't bad at all at first. They checked me, I was still very comfortable and when they checked me I was 4cm and 100% effaced. I actually remember thinking how "easy" it was at this point and the nursing staff was impressed that I wasn't begging for the epidural yet. I asked for one some time later when I was like 6 cm but only because it would take 20 minutes to kick in and I wanted it to work once I was fully dilated. Well, I got the epidural and the first dose did not work at all, I wasn't concerned at this point... then I got the second dose and I was able to sleep a little because it dulled the pain enough... THEN I woke up in terrible pain not 1 hour after the second dose. They gave me a third dose of the epidural and it STILL wasn't working. I was numb from the knees down and my butt was numb (gee, if I were giving birth through my toes it would have been very nice!) The anesthesiologist said that the epidural is equal to ones' height and by then they had given me the dose of a 6 foot 2 inch person! Unfortunately, Anna was also posterior, so I had the worst back labor as well. At last I was checked and I was 9 cm, then they checked me a half an hour later and I was +2. They asked me if I wanted to start pushing and I said YES! I was in so much pain, I just wanted it to end! So I pushed for an hour and I was so exhausted from hunger (I had only had a bowl of cereal at 5am that morning and by then it was 7. I pushed so hard for so long and it hurt so bad that I kept throwing up. The contractions were coming one after another. Finally my OBGYN came in and he said that he would try to use the vacuum to pull her out and if it didn't work I'd need a C-Section. Anna was stuck in the birth canal because of her posterior position and because I was too exhausted to push very hard or very consistently. I was so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open and I was even resting during contractions. So, finally the doctor put on the pump and I pushed as hard as I could and some time during this the doctor gave me a "generous" episiotomy--I didn't even notice! The vacuum released which made my body pop back, then the doctor put it back on and pulled her out. I didn't even know that she was born until she was put on my stomach. I kept my eyes closed for most of the labor (I was too exhausted to keep them open...) She was screaming and everything and she is so cute. The only thing that hurts is the episiotomy. It was pretty big, too. I asked the doctor how many stitches I had and he said, "We're up to six so far." and he wasn't even close to being done yet!
Anyhow, I'm in a ton of pain and the Percocet only helps a little with the pain, but Anna makes it all worth it! She is so beautiful! She has dark black hair and a poor scabby red mark from when the vacuum popped off. She's just adorable! It was all worth it. I'll just try not to relive that delivery, though!
Anna is a great little breastfeeder, too! She caught on right away and the nurses said that babies who have traumatic deliveries usually don't feed very well, but she caught on right away. I was able to try to feed her just an hour or two after she delivered.
To add to the story, I was 39 weeks 2 days pregnant with Anna when I had her. After she was born, I had issues with the Percocet. At 6 days postpartum, I went into the hospital because of a bowel obstruction caused by the medication. That was fun... not. More like humiliating and horrifying! I think the emotional healing after her birth took the longest. I didn't have a very good experience. I couldn't remember much of her birth because of being so exhausted and it took forever to feel like myself again. I can tell the difference between Charlie and Anna's births. The difference is huge! I was up and walking around immediately. I was able to get up with relative ease after Charlie's birth, go to the bathroom without issue (#1 and #2), go on walks within a few days of birth, go to church 5 days post-birth, etc., etc., etc. I feel like I can be a better mom, although juggling is difficult. I remember crying because I couldn't do anything for Anna for so long except for feed her. I'm glad to be able to have a better experience the second time around, even if it wasn't perfect. Even if it wasn't one of those births where baby and mom both come out unscathed - ah, well. God protected us both times. Both times c-sections were strong possibilities, especially in Charlie's case and both times we were healthy and alive afterward. I'm thankful for that. God is good!
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Paul (hubby) and I are fairly certain that we just want two. And to even think about getting pregnant again is a little frightening to me. Thankfully both pregnancies have been fairly complication free (with the exception of having high BP during my pregnancy with Anna), but it's just the delivery part! Both babies have been posterior and have needed to be vacuum-extracted. Charlie had the added fun of having the cord around his neck and shoulder dystocia because of being nearly 10 pounds. And let me tell you, carrying a nearly 10 pound baby was no walk in the park. I had pubic symphysis pain for weeks before delivery and for a week or two after - I'm still sensitive down there. Recovery was hell after having Anna and not too fun this time around, although much better. After having Charlie, the first to hold him was a warming bassinet surrounded by the NICU staff. Thankfully, I got to hold Anna first after having her. The point is, I'll never be one of those two-pushes-and-they're-out ladies. I'll never be a homebirth candidate (not that that's on my list, but still!). I'll never been one of those ladies who goes out and runs a mile a few weeks after birth.
But after having Charlie, the epidural actually worked and I was able to enjoy those first moments of his life, remember them, remember holding him for the first time, cuddling him, remember nursing him for the first time... it was wonderful! The recovery hasn't been too bad, although there have been a few bumps in the road... and I find that I'm sad that this is likely our last baby. I'm sad I won't experience that first moment ever again. At the same time, I don't want to go through what it takes to experience that first moment.
So, here I am. A mama of two. Maybe there'll be adoption in our future, just as I had always dreamed, but for now, it's just the four of us. And there will be plenty of firsts ahead of us... first smiles, first days at preschool, Anna getting married, Charlie getting married, first grandchildren... lots of firsts.
Posted by Milk Mama at 8:09 PM
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Charlie is now 2 weeks and 5 days old. He is well over 10 pounds and we'll be retiring newborn clothes this week. (They look so short on his arms and legs!!! Also, they're short on his long torso.) He is a great breastfeeder, just like his sister! I'm so thankful for that. I loved nursing Anna and I'm loving nursing this little guy. :)
Anna just had her 5th birthday party. She got lots of My Little Ponies, Littlest Petshop and Squinkies. She had a great day. We went to the Children's Museum with her and enjoyed her experiencing something new. :)
Anna loves being a big sister. Charlie is crying now, so this was a short update, but here it is. :)
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Charles David, born 11/1/11 at 5:21 PM PST, 9 lbs 13 oz (12.6 oz), 21 1/4 inches, head 15.25, 41 weeks gestation
2:30 AM - Paul (DH) woke me up because my nose was wheezing. I got up, feeling like I had to pee, but every time I sat down, it hurt really badly and my back was hurting. I woke up about every 1/2 hour until around 4 when I gave up and stayed awake.
5:45 AM - Left for the hospital, scheduled induction. My back was killing me, my pelvis hurting. I wanted to kill DH for stopping for coffee.
6:00 AM - Checked in to L&D - it was the exact same room that Anna (our daughter) was born in! They attached the monitors and I was already in labor! Here I thought I was having the most horrible back ache ever (just as it was on "false alarm day", but worse). I guess it was meant to be this little guy's birthday! Contractions were around every 2-3 minutes. I labored on my hands and knees to relieve the pain. I went into the whirl pool until that didn't help any more. I kept trying to go pee, but it was way too painful. DH kept saying, "Maybe you don't have to pee? Maybe he's just pushing on your bladder." Maybe, I agreed.
I was checked and I was 2-3 cm and my cervix was way posterior! What?! I had actually regressed?! How could that be with all of this horrible pain? (I had been 4 cm, 70% for the last two appts and anterior for the last appt.)
8:30 - Given 1/2 dose Phentanol for the pain. Ah, it felt nice.
9:30 - Made wise choice to have epidural. I could tell it was back labor all over again. I prayed the epi would work this time and it did!!! :)
The doctor came in finally and checked me. He was also feeling a posterior cervix and then he thought the baby was breech! He had an ultrasound machine brought in and it was hard to see the baby. He realized the problem and had the nurse give me a catheter. I had over a liter of urine in my bladder! I knew I had to go!!! He could see that the baby was actually head-down, not breech! Whew! I was praying so hard that he wasn't!
After that, the doctor checked me and I was actually 5 cm and 80% effaced! I knew I had made progress!
10:00 - My contractions were alright, but needed to be augmented with Pitocin. Yay for having a working epidural on board! I kept checking the machine to make sure I was still in labor!
11:00 - 6 cm, 80% effaced, -2 station
12:10 - 6 cm still, water broken. This part was hilarious. I had so much fluid that it was gushing out, soaked the doctor's sleeves and the sheets all the way up to my ribs! I had "copius amounts" of fluid, according to the nurse. My stomach actually deflated quite a bit with that. I did not have that experience with my daughter!
There was meconium staining in the fluid. :(
1:00 PM - 7 cm, 90% effaced
2:15 - 8-9 cm, 100% effaced. I couldn't believe how fast this was going!
3:15 - Just a lip of cervix left. They noticed he was ROP (right occiput posterior) and had me start pushing to get him to turn on his own. I pushed like this for a couple 1 hour, 45 minutes. He didn't turn on his own, just a little bit, but not all the way. I had to keep turning from my left side, to the back, to the right because of heartrate decels, while keeping an oxygen mask on. I was praying the whole time this didn't turn into a c-section situation.
5:00 - The doctor came in and had me start actual pushing. I could definitely feel pain and pressure as he moved down the birth canal. The doctor wanted to get him out of there, especially after noticing more meconium. The doctor talked about using a vacuum. I was so afraid of the same thing that happened with DD (Anna), vacuum and gigantic episiotomy. I asked immediately if it was possible to use the vacuum and not need an episiotomy and he said yes. As I pushed, he used the vacuum to turn him from ROP to anterior. Thankfully he did turn with this help! Once the vacuum was on, it only took two sets of four pushes for him to come into the world at 5:21. :) The doctor noticed that the cord was around his neck. Paul said the doctor was sweating as he pried the cord off from his neck. Paul cut the cord and blood sprayed across the room and soaked a nurse. haha :)
He was immediately brought to the pediatric team who assessed him because of the cord around the neck, the vacuum and the meconium. It took several minutes before I could actually see him. But he was a healthy boy. I was shocked at how huge he was - we all were! No wonder I was so uncomfortable. I gave up my evening one-mile walks a few days before he was born - it was just too hard any more. He's doing such a great job nursing! He always wants to suckle on things - his hands, me, or a pacifier. He likes to be warm and swaddled. He has tons of dark hair.He's fine with sleeping in the bassinet as well. He's wearing size 1 diapers lol! He has a little bruise on his head from the vacuum.
I made off with a 2nd degree tear and I'm doing great with 800 mg of Ibuprofen. I feel pretty great, considering. I feel so lucky. It was a great birth and it's making off to be a great recovery! So many things are working better this time around, compared to last. :) So many things could have gone wrong, but didn't. We are very, very blessed. God answered many of our prayers yesterday - from the breech situation to the healing thing. Very blessed!!!
Oh, and Anna loves her little brother so much! She's currently holding him and singing Twinkle Twinkle to him. That's the song I always sung to her. :)
ETA: I had to add that because of his surprising size, they've checked his blood sugar three times! Paul overheard them say, "Everything's OK. He's just a big boy!" haha :)
ETA2: I forgot to add that his shoulders also got stuck when he was coming out. Another "big boy" situation!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
40 Weeks 2 Days
My posts are getting shorter and shorter. Mostly because I'm so exhausted. I'm beyond the point of being excited and now I'm just exhausted and hoping for the end. Charlie's still hanging out... stubborn little boy! Anyway...
BP is still looking good, still 4 centimeters and 70% effaced, bag of waters is still bulging. Still no baby. This kid is stubborn! :) Anyway, I had my membranes stripped, so I've had a lot of contractions since. Hopefully that leads to something. If all else fails, he'll be evicted on 11/1/11 at 6:00 AM (induction). Having an end in sight is helping me to stay sane. If there was none, I'd be... well, like I was two days ago, bawling, upset all the time, etc. I'm in so much pain any more and to top it all off, I've gotten about a million new stretch marks that wouldn't have been there had Charlie made his grand appearance a week ago. :( I'm trying not to think about that any more. That was so not helping my mental health!
Well, I'm looking forward to new mommy things... breastfeeding, cuddling, kissing.
Not looking forward to... pain, pain meds, not being mobile for a few days... not that my mobility is very awesome right now... I can hardly get out of bed! Ugh. Time to come out, Charlie. I'll brave the pain!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Last night was my first ever trip to L&D for false labor. Anyway, I was having real contractions, but they were really inconsistent. I have made progress, though. I'm a "strong 4 cm" dilated, 70% effaced and I have a bulging bag of waters. My stubborn little man is still hanging out in my uterus... torturing me. haha They said they wouldn't be surprised if they saw me soon, so hopefully they're right. Owww...!
(39 w 3 d)
Thursday, October 20, 2011
39 Weeks 2 Days
I'm 3, almost 4 centimeters (just like last week), but stretchy up to 5 cm, so that's new. I'm still 60% effaced. Charlie is still -3 station. The only real change is that my cervix is now at an anterior position. (It was mid-position last week.) That bumped my Bishop's score from a 7 to an 8. I hope this is the week. I'm just having a hard time emotionally right now, dealing with pain and discomfort. I'm just done, done, done.
I've had a few good contractions this week. That's always fun when nothing is stinking happening. ;) I think I need more distractions. I wish grad school had worked out this semester, I'd have plenty to keep my mind occupied. Ah, well.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Charlie's heart rate is in the 120s
Almost 4 cm dilated
Flu shot: Check!
I'm feeling... like crap. I'm ready for this little boy to come into this world! Hopefully he will soon. It seems that after 4 cm, things should get going, right? Last week I was 2-3 cm and 50-60% and too high to tell a station, so things are moving along... sometimes much slower than my liking. I'm tired. I pulled a tendon in my leg/crotch yesterday and I'm in pain from that and the pubic symphysis issue. Ah, well. I keep saying it'll be any day. The sad part is that at this point, I'm not sure if I'm more excited to just not be pregnant any more or to meet Charlie. I guess I'm at the bummer end of pregnancy. I'm not Little Miss Chippy Chipperson today!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Today I met with a midwife named Jody in Newberg. I was so nervous about changing providers so late in the game, but it turned out great. She was really kind and smart. I felt comfortable. As it turns out, I think we should get ready for Charlie soon! That kind of makes me nervous. You'll see shortly why I say that... So, here are the stats:
2-3 centimeters dilated, 50-60% effaced.
BP: 120/68 (I had just jumped off the table and was nervous, so it's a tad higher than my usual, but still actually considered "normal".)
Weight: 150.5 lbs
Measuring... I don't know, but it looked like a little higher than usual. The midwife didn't say anything.
He is still "high" and needs to drop. I'm sure that once he drops, things will progress pretty quickly.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Anna has been learning how to spell. Sometimes I ask her how to spell a word and she usually gets the first letter right, then she completely makes up the rest of the word. (I think because she doesn't want to "play" the game.) Today, I had a nice little conversation with my four-year ten-month old daughter. It went something like this...
Me: Anna, how do you spell 'ball'?
I laughed until I cried. I laughed so hard that I couldn't tell Paul or my mom-in-law why I was laughing so hard. It's been a while since I've laughed like that!
Here are the stats...
36 weeks, second baby - Charles...
I'm up around 25-28 pounds. I gained 40 total with Anna. Including swelling.
Compared to 36 weeks pregnant with Anna...
How am I feeling?
My pubic symphysis feels like it's going to split in two. It hurts so much to walk and to turn in bed. I'm getting a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions, some painful, most uncomfortable. I'm just really uncomfortable and basically done with being pregnant. I'm past the point of Happy Pregnant Lady. Now I'm at the Complaining Pregnant Lady stage. I'll be full term in 6 days. Charlie is free to make his grand appearance starting next Tuesday. Let's hope he isn't fashionably late!!!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Weight: 144 - It looks like I'm right on with the 1 lb-per-week thing. :)
BP: 112/53 - Still nice and low. I hope it stays that way.
Charlie weighs about 5 lbs and 18 inches this week. That explains the discomfort! I feel so heavy out in front and my back has begun to ache when I walk for long periods of time. I love walking! I love exercise! It's such a bummer for it to be painful or uncomfortable. The other day I was walking and I had such terrible pressure and pain down there! Two days ago, I was watching TV and I had contractions, some painful some not, every 3-7 minutes. They subsided and were never regular, so nothing to worry about quite yet thankfully.
More news. I'm switching providers mid-pregnancy. Fun, fun. That means my next appointment won't be until October 6th. I'll be 37 weeks pregnant and ready to go by then. Argh. Oh, well. At least I can keep an eye on my BP and weight until then. As long as both are steady, there's no need to worry.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
As far as the due date post previously, yes they have my due date as October 25th in their records. (I thought it was the 27th because of online calculators, which are apparently wrong!)
Gestation: 31 weeks 6 days
Weight (me): 142 pounds (haha... let's hope that's NOT Charlie's weight... hehehe)
Interesting fact: at 33 weeks in my pregnancy with Anna, I was 149 pounds - 7 pounds heavier. Goodness gracious. My everything hurts right now. No wonder my back was killing me throughout that pregnancy. So far, no back pain here (OK, so not my everything...). However, I have some wonderful crotch pain - it feels like I've done a few dozen thigh presses on a thigh machine at the gym. I feel seriously sore! But, that might be because of this next bit of news...
CHARLIE IS HEAD-DOWN! Thank you, Jesus! Now, stay that way, young man! Don't make me ground you to your... erm... womb? Anyway... :) I was on top of the moon leaving that appointment. Every day he's head down gives me hope that he's going to stay that way and I won't need a c-section. :)
Blood pressure: 102/58
Still looking great! Every day my BP stays low is assurance that I won't need to be induced due to pre-e like I did with Anna. At my 36 week appointment, my BP was 140-something over 70-something. Eeep! So, by the time that milestone comes, I'll be doing some comparisons. Thank God that every pregnancy is different. I definitely have hope that I'll be able to give birth naturally like I want to.
Fundal height - right on! 32 centimeters!
Heartbeat - 150 bpm, 160s when he was squirming.
I had so many Braxton-Hicks contractions today from sitting in the car for hours that I started to worry about what was too many and what was safe. Our lovely midwife (I'll miss the midwives at this hospital, sniff sniff) said anything over 6/hour was of concern, just as I read online. I was easily having that or more today in the car, but because I wasn't able to change positions, I didn't worry about it (usually they tell you to drink water and change positions to check to see if they're consistent). Anyway, now that we're home I haven't had one. It's been about an hour, so I'm not so worried.
Overall, it was a great appointment. :) It's always great to hear this little guy's heartbeat and be reassured that he's doing well.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
30 Weeks Pregnant today! It's hard to believe that he'll be here in just ten weeks!
Weight: 139 lbs
Feeling: Big, tired, lots of BH contractions, no new stretch marks so far, guzzling water.
Charlie: Stretching, squirming, occasionally kicking. Most likely still breech. Sigh.
Next appointment: Next week!
* Baby will gain about 1/2 a pound between here and week 38.
*Average weight gain for mom: about a pound a week.
* Baby can control its own body temp.
Friday, August 5, 2011
For some reason they have me down as 28 weeks 4 days. That might be going off my ultrasound, though. (I'm 28 weeks 1 day according to LMP.) Interesting. Anyway, here are the stats...
Results of the Glucose Tolerance Test: Not diabetic! :) However, I am a little anemic. I was with Anna, too. To tell you the truth, I might always be... I don't like red meats or sea food... or a lot of foods that are rich in iron. Go figure.
My weight: 138. :) Up 2 lbs from last appointment. The average is a pound a week, so I'm averaging 1/2 lb per week. That's still within the norm. No worries there. I need ice cream. hmmm Might need to fix that.
My BP: 108/58
Fundus: 29.5, big jump from last time, but that's probably because... (see below)
Charlie is breech this week. Sigh. I freaked out on the way home. I do not want a Caesarian! I had a hard time with my recovery from having Anna (episiotomy) and the pain meds they gave me. Pain meds are not optional with abdominal surgery. Please, God, turn this little guy vertex!
Heartbeat: 128-132 bpm
That was the gist of the appointment. Eat more iron-rich foods. Find foods that I like that contain iron or take a supplement. Blueberries, spinach, nuts, beans, oatmeal. Good thing they don't check for calcium. I don't like to drink milk or eat yogurt and I rarely eat cheese... if only ice cream was a healthy food! Oh, ice cream sounds good... frozen yogurt? Is that a good alternative? Hmmm... I think I'll have to do some Googling.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
We went to the Oregon Zoo after my Glucose test (bad idea on my part, by the way, but a good idea overall). I was tired and didn't have a lot of energy - of course that could just be a pregnancy thing - but Anna had a wonderful time! Above are some of my favorite pictures from that morning. :)
- The fetus weighs almost 2 pounds now and is about 14.5 inches long.
- Baby now weighs about 875 grams and is 36.5 cm in length.
- The head is over 2.5 inches (7cm) in diameter.
- Your baby's hearing continues to develop.
- The eyes can blink, open and close.
Weight: 135 in the morning, 138 in the afternoon
Size: Large and in charge!
Feeling: Tired. Back hurts, stomach muscles are struggling to hang on, toes can no longer be seen (picture above is deceptive), belly button threatens to pop out (evidence above), multiple pee-stops at night. Waiting for results of Glucose Tolerance Test. 28 week appointment is scheduled for next week - then bimonthly appointments begin! :) I need more maternity shirts - With Anna, she was tucked in for a long time and I carried her deeply. Charlie is out there for the world to see!
Charlie: He does a lot of rolling and stretching, but rarely do I feel any sharp kicks or jabs. He's most active late at night.
Anna: Thinks Charlie will come out ready to climb trees with her. I think she doesn't realize he will have very little mobility for a while!
Wishful thinking birthday: I hope he comes on October 16th so I will only miss one class and will have more than a week to recover. :)
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Gestation: 26 Weeks
Time left: 14 weeks, 98 days
Feeling: OK. I am actually liking my cute little bump!
Cute Anna thing: Anna wakes up in the morning, hugs my tummy and kisses it, then says, "Good morning, baby Charlie." :)
Thursday, July 14, 2011
I measured my natural waist today, around my belly button. I'll post that measurement below. Not a whole lot to report on this end. I feel so sleepy and thirsty all of the time. I am making middle-of-the-night pee trips already. This is going to be a long 3-4 more months! Meanwhile, we're going through our household items and planning on a garage sale to raise money for a grad school fee (350 dollars... ugh). Hopefully we meet and/or exceed that goal. I really need to go to school this fall!
Natural waist: 36 inches
Gestation: 25 weeks today
Glucose tolerance test: tomorrow. Wish me luck! I'm hoping to take the test here in Oregon (we're visiting) and transfer the info up to Washington. We'll see if they care about that. It was my MIL's idea and I really don't think it's as cut-n-dry as she thinks it is. Then again, going outside the rules or norms makes me uncomfortable naturally, so we'll see if it's just me or not. haha. :)
In other baby news, my sister-in-law CJ has been feeling dizzy and yucky for a while now. She's 37 weeks and we'll see if she has pre-e and will be induced tomorrow. Wishing her luck! She's tired and feels like crap, so maybe we'll get to meet little Isaiah a tad early!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Fundal height/measurement - 23 weeks
150 bpm heart rate
The midwife let Anna help measure my tummy and as the the MW held the doppler up to my tummy, Anna talked into the doppler like a walkie-talkie and said, "Hi, Baby Charlie!" So cute! And when I said we were going to the doctor to check on Charlie, Anna asked if I was going to push him out yet. She's really excited. :)
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Unfortunately my camera died early in the day, but here are a couple of my favorites. :)
The little boy pictured is Anna's second cousin Elijah. He was waiting for Anna out front when we pulled into the driveway. When they saw each other, they were calling each other's names and ran toward one another and hugged - too cute. :)
We have been so busy lately that I've really neglected updating. Anyway, I'm 23 weeks 5 days right now. I'll be 24 weeks in two days. Charlie is technically already there, but ah, well... Thursday is still my day to say that I'm officially in the next week. :) Charlie is quite the kicker. He does have quiet days, though - and those days make me nervous! I love this little guy and I can't wait to meet him on the outside. Anna wakes up and hugs my belly every morning and kisses it and says, "Good morning, baby Charlie." When that happens, I must be very careful not to rub her back too much or she'll say, "I'm hugging baby Charlie, not you." Out of the mouths of babes. haha :) She's going to be a fantastic big sister!!!
As for symptoms... most bad symptoms have disappeared, with the exception of back and hip aches. I guess that's the magic of having your second baby - you get to be in more pain earlier! Wahoo? I guess it's for a good cause. hehe ;)
For the most part, I'm just enjoying my cute new bump. Soon I'll be much more uncomfortable and large. I'll take it all in stride, just as I take all of life - that's the secret, you know.
This photo was taken yesterday on the Fourth of July. I'm on the left and my beautiful sister-in-law CJ is on the right. Shes' 36 weeks - nearly full term! We're both having little boys. I think they'll have fun playing together someday. :)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Just like many of the things Anna has done in her life, she has done it on her own. No fuss from mom and dad! A few days ago, Anna decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed (usually she sleeps in our bed). Ever since, she's been sleeping in her bed all night long. It's been almost a week now. She did this with potty training, too. She was so easy to potty train! She was so easy to get to eat solids and to wean. She is just such an easy child. I'm pretty sure the next one will be trouble! haha!
Today I'm 22 weeks 3 days along, but since Charlie is measuring +4 days, I might as well be 23 weeks! The bump is growing quite a bit. Yesterday, I swear I was larger than this and two days ago I was huge! He must have switched positions again. I think he's still in the breech position, so sometimes I don't feel his kicks too consistently which is worrisome, but thanks to the magical internet, I know that this is normal. By this time with Anna (22 weeks), I could see her foot jutting out and running across my tummy. No go this time around. I guess every pregnancy really is different. I'm just praying that Mr. C goes head-down before go time. I do not want to be cut open! I'm actually hoping for a natural birth (no meds, no episiotomy, nothing). We'll see if I get my wish. Just pray for me.
Symptoms: Aching hips and tummy seem to be my biggest complaints lately. Between 19 and 24 weeks, baby doubles in size... that basically translates to a lot of discomfort on this end. Ah, well. :) I guess it's all for a good cause.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Anna actually "graduated" at the beginning of the month, but I'm a slacker. :) Anyway, it was so much fun. It's always fun to see her in her little world with all of her friends and her teachers. There was a pinata, which she loved. There was food and candy and all kinds of good things. This wasn't a true graduation for Anna. Unfortunately she has to wait another year before going to kindergarten due to her birthday. Paul and I personally believe she's smart enough to go on, but she's still too young. I'm sure she'll miss her friends next year and it breaks my heart that she won't have her best friend Clark by her side next year, but I'm sure she'll make a new best friend and she'll make many more between now and the time she graduates from college. I'll just try not to worry about it much. :)
You are four now, but you'll always be my baby girl. When you graduate from kindergarten, you'll be my baby girl. When you graduate high school and college, I'll weep because you're my baby girl. When you hold your own children, freshly born, I'll look on you in pride - because you are my baby girl.
I'm proud of you. It's as simple as that. I've snapped thousands of pictures of you over the years because the years just keep flying by. Seeing you grow is both wonderful and horrifying. Horrifying, why? Because it's going by so fast! It's a blur! It truly is. You're my darling girl. I love you so much. Sometimes I've been afraid that I could possibly love another child like I love you. I love you that much. Of course, seeing your baby brother has changed all of that. It's a different love, but an equal love. Motherhood is a mystery, I suppose. It's a mystery followed by a mystery followed by more mysteries. You wonder how you'll possibly be able to do something and then it magically works out. Well, maybe it's not magic. It's just motherhood. It's one of those amazing things. One of those inexplicable things.
My wishes for you, my child, my first born, the one who taught me how to mother are as follows: I want for you to never forget your Father. People come and out of our lives. They come, they leave, they die. Sometimes they hurt you. Sometimes they don't. But there is One who never hurts and never leaves. I'm not perfect. I've forgotten on many occasions, but when I remember or come around to remembering, the clouds part.
Earthly things. Deep friendships, wonderful memories, love and family, fulfilling missions, forgiveness, peace, education, learning, people to look up to academically and spiritually, a friendship that is deep and lasting with your brother, a realization that no matter what there is always something worse (not better... worse... why? because thankfulness is a good perspective in life), kindness, charity... And every good thing in life.
I love you, my spunky, silly, smart, athletic, goofy, artistic and wonderful daughter.
My wish for you is to be a strong and centered man someday. I want you to have a love for the Lord. I want you to do things better than I did. I want for you to have an excellent education and to pursue the things you love. I want you to know that it's OK for a man to cry. I want you to do those things in this world, but to never forget the Things that matter most. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the ephemeral, sweet boy. Don't let it take your spirit away. Cars and houses may be nice, but in the end there are things that matter much more than these. I pray you know the difference. Most of all, I pray I can do a good job at showing you that difference.
I want for you to be friends with your sister. You may be opposites, but I hope that you two cling to the things that are the same. I want your relationship to be meaningful. I want it to be a deep friendship.
I want love to touch your life. I know that pain will touch it - it touches everyone's, but I hope you bounce back. "Joy comes with the morning", Charlie. Sometimes we have terrible things happen to us. Sometimes people we love die. Sometimes it seems like the world is falling down around our ears, but inevitably joy rebounds - inevitably something good comes along and the bad things are just a terrible and vague memory. When the bad things happen, don't forget this. It's OK to question and to run - we're only human - and I think that in the end it makes us stronger. It makes our Faith stronger.
Most of all, I hope and pray that I can be a good mother to you. I love you already. I don't want to fail you. I'm not sure yet what it takes to raise a son right. Thankfully I'm not alone in this. Your dad is an amazing man and he is so excited to have a son - just as he was excited to have a daughter. Our love for you two is equal but different. I'm sure we'll spend the rest of our lives figuring out how to parent you two. I'm sure that when I'm sixty I'll snap my fingers and say, "I've figured it out!" I'll make mistakes along the way and I'll make triumphs. Either way, everything will be done in love.