My wish for you is to be a strong and centered man someday. I want you to have a love for the Lord. I want you to do things better than I did. I want for you to have an excellent education and to pursue the things you love. I want you to know that it's OK for a man to cry. I want you to do those things in this world, but to never forget the Things that matter most. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the ephemeral, sweet boy. Don't let it take your spirit away. Cars and houses may be nice, but in the end there are things that matter much more than these. I pray you know the difference. Most of all, I pray I can do a good job at showing you that difference.
I want for you to be friends with your sister. You may be opposites, but I hope that you two cling to the things that are the same. I want your relationship to be meaningful. I want it to be a deep friendship.
I want love to touch your life. I know that pain will touch it - it touches everyone's, but I hope you bounce back. "Joy comes with the morning", Charlie. Sometimes we have terrible things happen to us. Sometimes people we love die. Sometimes it seems like the world is falling down around our ears, but inevitably joy rebounds - inevitably something good comes along and the bad things are just a terrible and vague memory. When the bad things happen, don't forget this. It's OK to question and to run - we're only human - and I think that in the end it makes us stronger. It makes our Faith stronger.
Most of all, I hope and pray that I can be a good mother to you. I love you already. I don't want to fail you. I'm not sure yet what it takes to raise a son right. Thankfully I'm not alone in this. Your dad is an amazing man and he is so excited to have a son - just as he was excited to have a daughter. Our love for you two is equal but different. I'm sure we'll spend the rest of our lives figuring out how to parent you two. I'm sure that when I'm sixty I'll snap my fingers and say, "I've figured it out!" I'll make mistakes along the way and I'll make triumphs. Either way, everything will be done in love.
Friday, June 24, 2011