Friday, June 24, 2011

Dear Daughter

Dear Anna,

You are four now, but you'll always be my baby girl. When you graduate from kindergarten, you'll be my baby girl. When you graduate high school and college, I'll weep because you're my baby girl. When you hold your own children, freshly born, I'll look on you in pride - because you are my baby girl.

I'm proud of you. It's as simple as that. I've snapped thousands of pictures of you over the years because the years just keep flying by. Seeing you grow is both wonderful and horrifying. Horrifying, why? Because it's going by so fast! It's a blur! It truly is. You're my darling girl. I love you so much. Sometimes I've been afraid that I could possibly love another child like I love you. I love you that much. Of course, seeing your baby brother has changed all of that. It's a different love, but an equal love. Motherhood is a mystery, I suppose. It's a mystery followed by a mystery followed by more mysteries. You wonder how you'll possibly be able to do something and then it magically works out. Well, maybe it's not magic. It's just motherhood. It's one of those amazing things. One of those inexplicable things.

My wishes for you, my child, my first born, the one who taught me how to mother are as follows: I want for you to never forget your Father. People come and out of our lives. They come, they leave, they die. Sometimes they hurt you. Sometimes they don't. But there is One who never hurts and never leaves. I'm not perfect. I've forgotten on many occasions, but when I remember or come around to remembering, the clouds part.

Earthly things. Deep friendships, wonderful memories, love and family, fulfilling missions, forgiveness, peace, education, learning, people to look up to academically and spiritually, a friendship that is deep and lasting with your brother, a realization that no matter what there is always something worse (not better... worse... why? because thankfulness is a good perspective in life), kindness, charity... And every good thing in life.

I love you, my spunky, silly, smart, athletic, goofy, artistic and wonderful daughter.